Do you count yourself among those people who very rarely get upset, who are not easily moved or rocked? Well stop reading, and go play with the other robots!
Even though, as mentioned in a previous blog, I don’t think I’ll ever be fully “grown up” (I don’t drink coffee, I don’t have all, if any, answers to the big questions in life, I am easily moved, touched, rocked etc. etc.), I am old enough to take responsibility for my own feelings. No matter what other people have said or done, I should be master of my own emotions. But this is not always easy!
Today I am upset, a little angry, but mostly upset.
When I find myself in that situation I make use of a combination of several strategies. Brooding is fortunately not an inherent quality of mine, nor is passivity. Action is.
My first course of action is trying to shift focus, from me, myself, I, to the world outside me, and in the process touch bases with what makes me “tick”.
So I started the day bytexting some people, just to tell them that I care. Just doing that made me feel better; I had found a small piece of purpose to hold on to. Positive response (from those who were not too shocked:-) did of course not diminish the effect:-) Then I sent a few mails and made a call I’d be meaning to make for a long time.
But peace of mind was not restored that easily, so I endeavoured on the next measure on my list, tidying up. The house is never as clean and orderly as after an anger, upset- or frustration spell of mine. The kids’ and spouse’s belongings cluttering the common living areas are promptly collected and literally thrown into the rooms in which they belong, and the doors are not locked, but slammed shut. Nice! Laundry is quickly disposed of, so is garbage and other objects which happen to be in my way, and that should have been “dealt” with by other occupants of the house ages ago. The Salvation Army usually benefits greatly from these occasions. If later prompted as to these things’ whereabouts, I usually feign ignorance (silently giving my self absolution, claiming Non compos mentis, Of unsound mind at the time of the crime..).
Next I became more physical. That always makes me feel better, both about myself and other people. On the agenda was swimming. In the pool with me was only one other person, a what seemed to be a pretty proficient swimmer, and that was perfect; my competition instinct clicked in, and I set off to overtake him. The other guy never knew what hit him, how could he know what all the fuss was about:-), but it got my adrenalin racing, in turn giving me a nice dose of much needed endorphins.
A nice, warm shower added to the balancing effect, and I went about more practical business, preparing for a two days’ biking trip with a friend the coming weekend. When upset and a little angry, I can manage anything, even technicalities that usually leave me baffled. And if I need help, I seek it, and things get fixed! So there!
And speaking about friends: When the going gets, if not tough seen in a bigger perspective, but at least frustrating, good friends come in handy. You don’t necessarily need to tell them about your upset, just being with them makes you feel better. Fortunately, conveniently prescheduled, I have a dinner appointment with several good friends this evening, so that should be good.
But peace is not yet restored, so right now I am down to one of my last strategies, writing, a process that enables me to vent my feelings and helps me put everything into perspective.
My upset barometer is still indicating High Pressure, but, I think, pointing towards calmer weather. Low pressure, or as it is also called in meteorology, “depression”, is not what I am looking for, in either of the word’s connotations:-), because that’s not who I am, but some reduction in voltage would not be a bad thing.
What do you do, to cope with your upsets? I am wide open to suggestions:-) Have a good day, maybe not without upsets, but with strategies to deal with them…